(This story isn't quite of a demo, but more as an operator for a slide show. It doesn't have any great payoff, but I suppose is more of a case of dealing with old, crummy hardware.)
So there I was, on a Military base as "the tech guy". I was called away from my normal job of helping to maintain a Sharepoint server and handle a few basic SQL scripts, to do the ever-important task of clicking a button on a laptop to navigate through slide shows on an ancient laptop once a week. Now, to be fair, this job was actually kind of cool in a way. It wasn't JUST clicking a button. It also involved setting up a VOIP Teleconference with a base in a different timezone, so their important people could talk to our important people about important things. Since I had to click the button and had the proper authorizations, I got to hear them discuss these important things and hear their opinions about those things. Neat!
Now, when I say this laptop was ancient, I guess it would be fairer to say that it was "stunningly low performance". I had seen a few laptops older than this one - for example, I once ran across a laptop running Windows ME in a time where we had all of our systems upgraded to Windows 7 - the Military seems to have this weird habit of never getting rid of anything, doubly so for stuff that "looks expensive". This slideshow laptop I was required to operate wasn't quite that old, but I was positive that the hard drive was a few months away from failing. It was a hand-me-down of a hand-me-down. The lid had material stickers, asset tags, and hardware tracking information from all over the place with various commands (organizations, not computer commands) marked, struck out, and remarked. Far be it for a low-ranking enlisted person to decide what sort of hardware is being used in the presence of officers who had been in the military for 30+ years, but one would think someone, somewhere could have gotten these guys something a bit less...horrible. Maybe no one bothered because they weren't the ones who had to log in to it. Maybe they were just afraid of messing up the fancy carpet in the conference room. Who knows. Whatever the case, that thing wasn't due for an upgrade anytime soon and I had no authority to make that happen.
Anyway, back to the slide show. My routine went something like this: Turn the power on, wait about 25 minutes for the login screen, begin typing login information while compensating for the typing lag, login, wait 15 to 20 minutes or so for it to load XP (setup VOIP in the meantime and chitchat with the other low ranking person to assess their hardware situation), launch Windows Explorer and wait a few minutes for it to open, find the presentation and open it waiting another 8 to 10 minutes. All told, I tried to get there at least 1 to 1.5 hours early to get everything prepped in time. 99% of the time, this was completely fine.
One time, it was not.
This poor officer. He was early in his career, probably just got promoted, and was clearly excited for this meeting. He had walked in about 20 minutes before the meeting was set to start. It was extremely abnormal for anyone else to be there that early because these guys were usually strolling in about 30 seconds beforehand because the schedules of these guys were so tight they didn't have a lot of time to sit around and prep, at least not in that room they didn't. This usually also gave me enough time to get everything ready to go. Well, this particular officer wanted to do a dry run before he had to present. I was fairly close to ready by the time he had gotten there, but the thing is, he didn't just want to prep, he wanted everything TIMED. He wanted synchronization. He informed me that he would give a hand signal and I would go to the next slide immediately without delay. I tried to tell him what the situation was, but he was a bit too nervous to really accept what I was telling him. He would wave his hand, I would hit the button, and we would wait. And wait. And wait. I counted it out in my head, it was easily a 15, 20, 30-second delay. The first time he didn't comment. The next time he grew annoyed. The third time he waved his hand, then watched me hit the button, looked back at the screen, and waited. And waited. By the last slide - right as he gave up - everyone filed in. Again, the delay loading back to the beginning of the slideshow meant his "big finale" was the first thing everyone saw as they started to file in and sat down. They looked at me confused, then at him, then at me, and shrugged. The officer sighed and made some comment about why the computer in here was so bad. No one paid him any mind. Towards the end he went through his routine, would say something like, "NE-EXT SLIDE...PLEASE!" and carry on with his presentation.
After the whole thing was over, I seem to recall one of the gruffer senior enlisted giving him a pep talk after everyone had filed out. I carried on with my 25-minute logout process (leaving a computer unattended was a big no-no) and feined deafness until they both left.
(This story isn't quite of a demo, but more as an operator for a slide show. It doesn't have any great payoff, but I suppose is more of a case of dealing with old, crummy hardware.)
So there I was, on a Military base as "the tech guy". I was called away from my normal job of helping to maintain a Sharepoint server and handle a few basic SQL scripts, to do the ever-important task of clicking a button on a laptop to navigate through slide shows on an ancient laptop once a week. Now, to be fair, this job was actually kind of cool in a way. It wasn't JUST clicking a button. It also involved setting up a VOIP Teleconference with a base in a different timezone, so their important people could talk to our important people about important things. Since I had to click the button and had the proper authorizations, I got to hear them discuss these important things and hear their opinions about those things. Neat!
Now, when I say this laptop was ancient, I guess it would be fairer to say that it was "stunningly low performance". I had seen a few laptops older than this one - for example, I once ran across a laptop running Windows ME in a time where we had all of our systems upgraded to Windows 7 - the Military seems to have this weird habit of never getting rid of anything, doubly so for stuff that "looks expensive". This slideshow laptop I was required to operate wasn't quite that old, but I was positive that the hard drive was a few months away from failing. It was a hand-me-down of a hand-me-down. The lid had material stickers, asset tags, and hardware tracking information from all over the place with various commands (organizations, not computer commands) marked, struck out, and remarked. Far be it for a low-ranking enlisted person to decide what sort of hardware is being used in the presence of officers who had been in the military for 30+ years, but one would think someone, somewhere could have gotten these guys something a bit less...horrible. Maybe no one bothered because they weren't the ones who had to log in to it. Maybe they were just afraid of messing up the fancy carpet in the conference room. Who knows. Whatever the case, that thing wasn't due for an upgrade anytime soon and I had no authority to make that happen.
Anyway, back to the slide show. My routine went something like this: Turn the power on, wait about 25 minutes for the login screen, begin typing login information while compensating for the typing lag, login, wait 15 to 20 minutes or so for it to load XP (setup VOIP in the meantime and chitchat with the other low ranking person to assess their hardware situation), launch Windows Explorer and wait a few minutes for it to open, find the presentation and open it waiting another 8 to 10 minutes. All told, I tried to get there at least 1 to 1.5 hours early to get everything prepped in time. 99% of the time, this was completely fine.
One time, it was not.
This poor officer. He was early in his career, probably just got promoted, and was clearly excited for this meeting. He had walked in about 20 minutes before the meeting was set to start. It was extremely abnormal for anyone else to be there that early because these guys were usually strolling in about 30 seconds beforehand because the schedules of these guys were so tight they didn't have a lot of time to sit around and prep, at least not in that room they didn't. This usually also gave me enough time to get everything ready to go. Well, this particular officer wanted to do a dry run before he had to present. I was fairly close to ready by the time he had gotten there, but the thing is, he didn't just want to prep, he wanted everything TIMED. He wanted synchronization. He informed me that he would give a hand signal and I would go to the next slide immediately without delay. I tried to tell him what the situation was, but he was a bit too nervous to really accept what I was telling him. He would wave his hand, I would hit the button, and we would wait. And wait. And wait. I counted it out in my head, it was easily a 15, 20, 30-second delay. The first time he didn't comment. The next time he grew annoyed. The third time he waved his hand, then watched me hit the button, looked back at the screen, and waited. And waited. By the last slide - right as he gave up - everyone filed in. Again, the delay loading back to the beginning of the slideshow meant his "big finale" was the first thing everyone saw as they started to file in and sat down. They looked at me confused, then at him, then at me, and shrugged. The officer sighed and made some comment about why the computer in here was so bad. No one paid him any mind. Towards the end he went through his routine, would say something like, "NE-EXT SLIDE...PLEASE!" and carry on with his presentation.
After the whole thing was over, I seem to recall one of the gruffer senior enlisted giving him a pep talk after everyone had filed out. I carried on with my 25-minute logout process (leaving a computer unattended was a big no-no) and feined deafness until they both left.